Sunday, January 31, 2010

Why NOT me???

When tragedy hits or things get tough, it seems like the first question we tend to ask God is, "Why me"??? As it started to become apparent to me that infertility was going to be one of my struggles in life, I remember asking this question often. ...God, why would you allow a 16 year old girl to get pregnant and not me? Why would let a woman that you know was going to have an abortion get pregnant, and not me? What did I do to deserve this?...
And then it hit me - life is not meant to easy and if it was easy, none of us would need God. What makes me think that I should be exempt from the pain or suffering in the world? What makes me think that I am better and deserve more than other people have? My selfishness started to become very apparent to me.
I heard a friend say recently that the enemy's greatest tool is to keep us focused on ourselves. If our focus, energy, and attention is all on us and our needs, we lose sight of our purpose in life, which is to love God and love others. How can we unconditionally love others if we come first?
So, every time I start to think "Why me?", I try to replace that thought with "Why not me?" What if God is trying to use this trial to strengthen me or make me more like him? What if God is using this struggle to test my faith? Or bring more glory to himself than it would have if I had gotten pregnant right away? Or make me appreciate and love my children all the more?
For someone whose life has been pretty easy up until now, I have no doubt that God is using this in some way to transform me, mold me, and make me stronger than I was before. If this is what it takes to get me to where He wants me to be, then bring it on! It is never a struggle that I would ever wish on anyone, or myself, but I fully believe that God's ways and thoughts are far beyond my own (Is. 55:8-9) and that He can and WILL do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20)!



  1. What a great post, Brooke! I truly admire your attitude about this all and I need to learn from YOU! Thanks for sharing this and encouraging me today! Love you!!!

  2. This post is exactly what God has been showing me lately. I would not wish this struggle upon anyone, but I know that God has called me to go through this for a bigger purpose. It is easy to loose sight of His plan for me and start to ask "Why Me" but what a great realization God has shown you. Our need for Him is great and the more we realize that, the more glory we can bring to Him. Praying that you bring glory to Him daily and that your struggle with this ends soon!

  3. This is exactly what I needed to hear today! Thanks for your words!

  4. What a great post. Thank you for sharing your story. Your outlook and attitude is amazing and uplifting! I struggled with this for two years and then God blessed us with our little girl who is now three! I know he has a plan for you too, keep the faith, I believe God will answer your prayers!!

  5. Hi Brooke,
    I'm over from Kelly's Korner. I so admire your faith and willingness to follow the Lord even in the midst of not understanding "Why?" I too have struggled trying to grow a family. But God! He is faithful and He truly has our best interest at heart. However, it's been hard for me to believe that at times! :)

    I'd like to share my website with you. Encouraging those walking the infertility road, it's essentially my story and how God has been faithful. Hope it will help you while you are waiting!

    Believing His best for you! Take care, God bless,
    Lesli Westfall

  6. Hi Brooke,
    I found your blog from Kelly's Korner- Show us Your Life. I too have been struggling with infertility, and reading your post I was smiling because I have had the same thoughts and questions. I am just now coming to terms with infertility, and just trusting in the Lord and leaning on Him for strength more and more everyday. I believe He has plans for every individual, and this struggle has been laid out before us for a reason. Thank you for sharing your story, and God bless!

  7. What an amazing story!

    Infertility is such a hard journey, it has it's up and it's's a path that God only trust with certain people...

    My husband and I have also been TTC (4 years next month), infertility is a huge part of our lives, it does not define us, but it's def. changed us for the better!

  8. Hi Brooke,

    Found your blog on Kelly’s Korner. Your posts are so touching. God is really using this struggling in your life to do amazing things. One day, you'll look back and have so many "ah ha" moments when the things that keep you awake at night sudden make perfect sense. Just hang on. God does some of His best work right in the middle of our toughest days.

    I wanted to let you know about Sarah’s Laughter, the ministry God gave me through my own struggle with infertility. We’d love to encourage you as you continue on your journey, and offer you our support however we can. Our Daily Double Portions are encouraging devotions we send every day to build you up and uplift you as you face the daily struggle of infertility. If there’s anything Sarah’s Laughter can do for you, please don’t hesitate to let us know. We care about you and your journey.

  9. What a fantastic blog! (TTC for 10 years now) I am still struggling with trying to turn it over to God and not letting my anger that my friends and family are pregnant and have kids rule over me. It's a constant struggle...wish I had the strong faith that you show here. My faith is strong in God, but teeters day to day because of the questions I'm always posing...especially the Why Me? You've enlightened my day a little and put my mind towards strengthening my faith and trying to let it go. Thanks.

  10. Love y'all and we're still praying hard every single day!!!

  11. Found your blog and wanted to let you know I recently changed my blog title to "Roller Coaster Ride to Motherhood" as that's what it feels like. LOL. Yes, God is growing us despite not knowing the reasons.

  12. Brooke, I can't wait to read your next blog entry!!! Praying for you.