Up and Down

A few weeks ago, one of my friends from college ended her life after a year and a half long battle with post-pardum depression. She was a compassionate, selfless, generous friend, wife, and mother of three beautiful children. Since her passing, I have been struggling so hard with the thought that she was in so much pain and suffering, and I didn't even know. I have been trying to keep my eyes and ears more open to those who might be hurting around me, because you never really know what people are going through and how an extra hug or smile might make a difference in their day.
I have also come to truly understand and realize the importance of sharing our burdens and struggles, because the things that this life can throw at us are just too hard to bear alone. God is our Ultimate Comforter, but he gives us each other to help make the load seem a little lighter and bearable.
I truly believe that one of the biggest tools of Satan is to keep us isolated, feeling alone in our struggles. If he can keep us in bondage through secrecy, then depression and sadness have a greater power over us. That is why I think it is stressed over and over in scripture that we are supposed to "carry each others burdens" and "weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice." This life together is what the church was created to be, yet "church" is often the last place that people feel comfortable being themselves. I have no doubt that this life is meant to be shared, so that we can all realize that we are not alone, that our feelings and questions are normal, and that life's primary goal is helping one another experience the love of Jesus Christ.
With all that being said, I want to be completely transparent with you guys right now and ask for your prayers. This holiday season has taken a toll on me and I am having a really hard time. My mind bounces back and forth between feelings of thanksgiving and questions about why we don't have a child yet. Johnathan and I often joke around about how we feel schizophrenic sometimes, because our moods and perspectives on the situation can change about a hundred times a day. Typically, when one of us is up, the other is down, and so we are able to help each other through the hard days...but here recently we have both been in a slump. Occasionally one of us will have a strong moment and share a word of encouragement to the other, but most of our thoughts recently have been those of sadness and discouragement. So far the acupuncture has not really shown many improvements in my cycle, but we know that we must be patient and give it more time.
One thing I love about God is that he shows off the most through my weakness, so I am just putting them out there for Him to use. I am far weaker than I like to think I am, and I have not been doing a very good job of trusting Him lately. So, there it is. We need all of you right now praying for us, because you know that the desire of our hearts is for God to use this whole thing to bring glory to himself...and we don't want to get in the way of that.
We love you all, and hope that you know that we want to help you carry your burdens too. Please don't hesitate to share with us what we can be praying for you about and how we can help make your load easier. This journey is meant to be shared.

Brooke